Wednesday morning, 4 AM-ish, I wake up and stare at the ceiling, still unbelievably tired. Doesn’t help that I woke up every two hours or so since 10 PM last night. Trivia weekend really fucked up my sleep schedule, didn’t it? Guess I can blame both late-night info-searching and drinking for every “Portesi” ad that came across the radio. Stupid drinking game. At least I didn’t go insane like after the last drinking game I played. Four or so years ago.
Cat’s at the door, howling for food. He can wait another hour. Eyelids are feeling heavier, but I’m not falling asleep. Go away, cat: I’m trying to sleep. I know you’re hungry, but give me at least another hour, okay? Besides, you do have a bowl of dry food. I know it’s not empty. There’s plenty of food around that small dab of white at the bottom of the…fine, I’ll feed you. May as well make coffee, too.
May as well stay up the rest of the day, too. Have to donate plasma later, too. May as well get some revising done while I’m at it. Keep the brain busy so I’m not tempted to fall asleep.
But first: To Twitter!
Let’s see what’s…oh. Oh hell. Timeline’s just as amazing and depressing as always. May as well tweet some before doing revisions. Let’s add something to the list of #amwriting, shall we?
Oh sweet, a few new followers from all that. Greetings, new followers! Hope you…oh. Some of you are editing companies. Great. Oh, some are also writers themselves. That’s cool. Guess that does it for trying to network and be entertaining at the same time.
Back to revisions…after two more cups of coffee. Yeah, that does it. Coffee good, coffee life. Coffee is my god, and I will spread its mighty word through the world…just not right now.
No, that paragraph isn’t going to work with the rest of the book. Why’d you get rid of all of that? Oh yeah, that’s right: You changed every chapter up to now. And you lost over 2000 words because of that. Kill your darlings, they said. It’ll make your story better!
It’s the truth, isn’t it? Getting rid of just plain terrible sentences and paragraphs and pages…
Am I ending up in another endless editing spiral again? No, I haven’t deleted all the 70,000+ words I wrote. Yet. Maybe? I mean, I’m working on formatting the manuscript from the ground up. Again. Fuck…maybe I am in that trap.
No. No, I’m not, and it’s not going to help matter to continue doing that. Just have to keep moving forward.
At least I’m listening to the same mood music I wrote the first draft with. Funny how SunnO))) and Slipknot helps with that when mixed with Old Blind Dogs and Enya.
Okay, gotta take a break before I do erase everything. Let’s look up more advice for querying and publishing. Well isn’t that nice: Writer’s Digest has another contest! Let’s see the…oh. Oh, okay. Another contest I’d have to pay to enter. Like that’s in the current budget right now.
I get the need for larger contests to have some kind of paywall: Helps keep “quality” in check…but does it really? I mean, hell, there are forums out there that have a paywall for content and even that does little to keep shit from sneaking in. Not that I think I’m not shit, but at least I’m better than EL James and Stephanie Meyer. Need another cup of coffee just to wash that taste out of my mouth. Ugh.
How much of this query writing advice is bullshit? Just how much of it? Some things are similar: “Be original, but be professional.” “Be professional, but be original.” Fucking hell, those are the same damn thing as each other. Jesus titty-fucking Christ, everything is so varied and confusing. This person says to do Thing A, and another says to NEVER do Thing A but ALWAYS do Things B, C, and Z. So-and-so said not to do those things, and that Thing A is dependent on the agent.
Some more uniformity would be fucking nice, you know. Like, a definitive list of Do’s and Don’ts that even a monkey could follow, something someone trying to get a traditional deal for the first time could use as a great stepping stone.
Wait, is this more of that “quality control”, like having to pay for entering a writing contest? Maybe, maybe not? I don’t know anymore. Looking at Manuscript Wishlist and agent tweets helps some…but it’s still too open-ended and confusing. Hell, some agents don’t even have specifics or examples of what they want on these sites. How’s that supposed to help with anything? Even a “I’m looking for the next <insert client or author and/or their works here>!” is better than no example at all, even if I haven’t heard of these people at all. It’s a better stepping stone to knowing what someone’s looking for than just jumping into the void.
Shit, it’s almost as if this industry is bougie, vague, archaic, and screwed up on purpose!
Is this desk made out of oak or maple? It’s hard as fuck all, is all I know. Note to self: Don’t test wood strength, durability, and type with your forehead. Getting a headache helps no one, especially yourself.
I’m so stupid. Magnificently so; my stupidity should be hanging in a gallery for the world to see. “Moron Writer Extraordinaire” could be the title, and the synopsis would read, “Dylan Sawyer was suspended from college due to a mix of his job interfering with his assignments and classes, and his own broke-brain ass fucking up everything for him, and his stubbornness in refusing to get help kept him from doing anything further with advancing his knowledge about the writing industry.” I could get some royalties from that, for sure.
Self-deprecation is just self-pity and self-harm wrapped together in a neat little package.
Hey, I haven’t been on WordPress for a while. Maybe I should update my blog…
*An hour and a half passes*
Well, aren’t I the little attention-seeker today. “Let’s complain on and to the void of the Internet, contribute nothing that probably hasn’t already been said about things and tit-for-tat, have sympathy and pity for me~!” Here’s where the wet fart noise would be, world. Enjoy: I am the idiot on social media. One of many today, and the day is far from over.
It’s only 10:35 AM, after all.
Hey, I purged my mind! Maybe I can continue with revising Salvation. The early chapters needed the most work done, anyway, and the end is finally something I can be happy with. Just a hundred more words with this one chapter, then I can put bits and pieces together as I go along again.
Time to get another pot of black gold going, then I’l start again.
All hail the coffee god, for it is good and kind and delicious.